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Hadith Section > A Manual of Hadith > Chapter 20: Marriage (Hadith -- The Traditions)


Chapter 20:
Marriage (Hadith -- The Traditions):


 

(Note: The superscript-numbers [e.g., intention2] that appear in the text [in pink] refer to the numbers of the explanatory footnotes that appear at the end of each Hadith [Tradition].)


1 `Alqamah said,
While I was going along with `Abd Allah, he said, We were with the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be on him, and he said:

"He who is able to marry should marry, for it keeps the eye cast down and keeps a man chaste; and he who cannot, should take to fasting, for it will have a castrating effect upon him.1 (B. 30 : 10.)

1 Marriage is here recognised as a means of moral elevation and spiritual exaltation. Fasting has a castrating effect inasmuch as the carnal passions are thereby subdued. According to another hadith, marriage is recognised as the Sunnah of the Holy Prophet, and it is added; "He who abstains from my Sunnah in not of me." (B. 67 : 1.)


2 Ibn Mas`ud said,
We used to fight along with the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be on him, and we had not (our) wives (with us); so we said, May we not castrate, O Messenger of Allah? And he forbade us doing so.
2 (B. 67 : 6.)

2 So in Islam there are no eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven. On the other hand, marrying and keeping oneself chaste is a means of attaining the kingdom of heaven.


3 Sa`d said,
The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be on him, repudiated `Uthman ibn Maz`un's remaining celibate, and if he had permitted him, we would have been emasculated. (B. 67 : 8.)


4 `Ali reported,
The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be on him, forbade temporary marriage with women, and the eating of domestic asses, on the day of Khaibar.
3 (B. 64 : 40.)

3 The technical word for temporary marriage is mut`ah. It is derived from mata` meaning profiting for a long time. Mut`ah is considered to be a legal form of marriage by the Shi`ahs, but the vast majority of the Muslim community rejects it on the basis of the hadith quoted here. The Holy Qur'an uses the word ihsan (lit. being inaccessible) for marriage, and thus looks upon marriage as a permanent relation which can be cut off only be divorce. For all kinds of sexual relationship it uses the word safah, which signifies fornication. According to some hadith, mut`ah was allowed by the Holy Prophet in a war. Even if this be true, it may have been allowed at an earlier stage, reform having been brought about gradually, but there is not the least doubt that it was finally disallowed.


5 `A'ishah reported,
In the pre-Islamic times marriage was in four ways; one of these being as the people's marriage today, a man asking another man for marriage with his ward or his daughter, then he settles on her a dowry, then marries her.
4 (B. 67 : 37.)

4 Khitbah or asking a woman in marriage is a preliminary stage. The dowry to be settled on the woman must then be agreed upon. There is no limitation to this amount; it may be a heap of gold (v. 11), or it may be a ring of iron, or even service rendered to the woman in teaching her (B. 67 : 51). In fact, the amount of the dowry depends on the circumstances of the contracting parties.


6 Jabir said,
The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be on him, said:

When one of you asks a woman in marriage, then if he is able that he should look into what invites him to have her in marriage, he should do it." (AD. 12 : 18.)


7 Mughirah reported,
He made a proposal of marriage to a woman, and the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be on him, said:

"See her, for this is more likely to bring about agreement between you." (Tr. 11 : 5.)


8 Abu Hurairah reported,
The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be on him, said:

"The widow shall not be married until she is consulted, and the virgin shall not be married until her consent is obtained."

They said, O Messenger of Allah! How shall her consent be obtained? He said, "(It is sufficient) that she remains silent." 5 (B. 67 : 42.)

5 Hh. 8 and 9 show that a woman must be given in marriage by her guardian; but the guardian, whether father or anyone else, must obtain the woman's consent. As many hadith show, a woman is at liberty to offer her hand to anyone, and Bukhari heads one of his chapters as follows : A woman offering herself for marriage to a virtuous man" (B. 67 : 33). In such a case, the state is considered to be the guardian (B. 67 : 41).


9 Khansa' reported,
Her father gave her away in marriage, and she was a thayyib, and she did not like it. So she came to the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be on him, and he annulled her marriage.
6 (B. 67 : 43.)

6 Thus the woman has the choice of repudiating a marriage to which she is not a consenting party. The word thayyib includes both, a woman whose husband has died and a woman who has been divorced.


10 `A'ishah said,
The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be on him, said:

"Select (fit) women (in respect of character) for your seed, and marry (your) equals and give (your daughters) in marriage to them."7 (IM. 9 : 45.)

7 Marriage must be contracted so far as possible between equals. This is technically known as marriage in kuf' or kufu' (pl. akfa'). Bukhari explains this by heading his chapter as "Al-Akfa fi-l-din" (67 : 16), or Equals in religion; making it clear that all Muslims are equal in one sense. There are examples recorded in Hadith in which a woman of the high family of Quraish was married to a slave or a freed slave (B. 64 : 12).


11 Abu Hurairah reported,
The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be on him, said:

"A woman is married on account of four things; on account of her wealth, and on account of (the nobility of) her family, and her beauty, and on account of her character,8 so attain success with the one possessing nobility of character." (B. 67 : 16.)

8 Religion, in contrast with the other three, builds character, and hence the word din carries the significance of character here.


12 `Uqbah said,
The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be on him, said:

"The conditions which are most worthy that you should fulfil are those with which you legalize sexual relations."9 (B. 54 : 6.)

9 Any conditions which the parties agree upon may be laid down in the marriage contract, so long as they are not against the law. For instance, it is stated that a woman shall not impose a condition requiring the divorce of her sister (B. 67 : 54).


13 Ibn `Umar reported,
The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be on him, forbade shighar; and shighar is this that a man gives his daughter in marriage to another man on condition that the latter shall give his daughter in marriage to him, neither of them paying dowry.
10 (B. 67 : 29.)

10 The dowry must be made over to the woman, and her father or guardian has no right to it. Hence shighar is forbidden.


14 `A'ishah said,
The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be on him, said:

"Make the marriage publicly known, and perform it in mosques, and beat at it with duff."11 (Tr-Msh. 13 : 3.)

11 Duff or daff is the tambourine, and the object of beating with daff at marriage is to make it publicly known. It also furnishes a kind of music.


15 `Abd Allah said,
The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be on him, taught us the marriage sermon (which is thus):
12

"All praise is due to Allah; we beseech Him for help, and we ask for His protection, and we seek refuge in Him from the mischiefs of our souls; whomsoever Allah guides, there is none who can lead him astray and whomsoever Allah finds in error, there in none to guide him; and I bear witness that there is no god but Allah and that Muhammad is His servant and His Messenger. `O you who believe! Be careful of your duty to Allah, by Whom you demand one of another your rights, and to the ties of relationship; surely Allah watches over you.' `O you who believe! Be careful of your duty to Allah with the care which is due to him, and do not die unless you are Muslims.' `O you who believe! Be careful of your duty to Allah and speak the right word; He would put for you your deeds into the right state and forgive you your faults; and whoever obeys Allah and His Messenger, he indeed achieves a mighty success." (AD. 12 : 31.)

12 The khutbah or sermon at marriage helps the publicity of the marriage, and serves the double purpose of sanctifying the marriage contract and informing the parties of their responsibilities. The three verses of the Holy Qur'an quoted in the sermon are 4 : 1 (a part), 3 : 101, and 33 : 70, 71. V. 4 : 1 runs thus :

"O people! Be careful of your duty to your Lord, Who created you from a single being and created its mate of the same kind, and spread from these two many men and women; and be careful of your duty to Allah by Whom you demand one of another your rights and to the ties of relationship; surely Allah ever watches over you."

The whole of this verse may be recited instead of the part given in the hadith. They all lay stress on carefulness to duty, and the person who delivers the sermon must expatiate on them to make the audience realize their import. The khutbah is followed by ijab and qubul, i.e., the acceptance of the parties to the contract, and the amount of dowry is made publicly known. This is followed by a prayer by the whole gathering that the union may be blessed.


16 Anas said,
The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be on him, saw a women and children coming from a wedding, so the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be on him, stood up erect and said :

"O Allah! You are the most loved of all people to me" He said this three times.13 (B. 63 : 5.)

13 The nikah was followed by a ceremony of conducting the bride to the bridegroom, called `urs or `urus, at which people gathered together, and thus it received additional publicity. The hadith further shows the Holy Prophet's deep love for women and children. As these women and children were from among the Ansar, the hadith is narrated by Bukhari in a chapter dealing with "the love of the Ansar."


17 `A'ishah said,
She conducted the bride to a man from among the Ansar. and the Prophet of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be on him, said,

"O `A'ishah! Why had you no music with you, for the Ansar love music?14 (B. 67 : 64.)

14 The word used in the hadith is lahw, which means a thing in which a man delights himself and which occupies him so as to divert him, and includes every diversion, pastime, sport, or play. Here it means music.


18 Anas said,
The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be on him, had Zainab conducted to him on the occasion of his marriage with her; so Umm Sulaim said to me, What! if we send a present to the Messenger of Allah? , peace and blessings of Allah be on him, I said to her, Do it. So she took dates and butter and cheese, and made a preparation mingling them in a cooking-pot, and sent me with it to him. And I went with it to him, and he said, "Place it (here
15)." (B. 67 : 65.)

15 Giving of presents at marriage is therefore in accordance with the Sunnah.


19 Anas said,
Zainab bint Jahsh was conducted as a bride to the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be on him, and bread and meat were served, and I was sent to invite people to the feast. A party came and had the meal, then went out; then another party came and had the meal and went out; I went on thus inviting until I could not find any one whom I should invite.
16 (B. 65-33 : 8.)

16 This feast is called walimah and it is given by the bridegroom when the bride has been conducted to him. It is said to be derived from iltiyam which means gathering together of two people.


20 Ibn `Umar reported,
The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be on him, said:

"When one of you is invited to a marriage feast, he should go to it." (B. 67 : 72.)


21 Ibn `Abbas said, carrying it back to the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be on him, (who) said:

"If one of you, when he goes in to his wife, should say, `In the name of Allah ; O Allah! Ward off from us the Devil and ward off the Devil from that which Thou grantest us, then offspring is decreed for them, it (the Devil) will not harm it." (B. 4 : 8.)


22 Jabir said,
We used to resort to `azl
17 in the time of the Prophet of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be on him, and the Qur'an was then being revealed. (B. 67 : 97.)

17 `Azl was a birth-control device. It originally means putting a thing aside or away, and with reference to sexual relations, paulo ante emissionem (penem suum) extraxit, et extra vulvam semen emisit. It is allowed when conception is likely to endanger the woman's life or impair her health.


23 Abu Sa`id said,
........We resorted to `azl, then we asked the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be on him, and he said:

"What! Do you do it?" He said this thrice.

"There is no soul that is to be till the day of Resurrection but it will come into life." (B. 67 : 97.)


24 Abu Rafi` said,
I saw the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be on him, calling out adhan for prayer in the ear of Hasan ibn `Ali when Fatimah gave birth to him.
18 (Tr-Msh. 19 : 3.)

18 This is the first act with regard to a Muslim baby. The words of the adhan are repeated opposite the right ear, and the words of iqamah opposite the left. The latter is based on a report in the Sharh al-Sunnah showing that `Umar ibn `Abd al-`Aziz followed this practice. The practice is traced back to the Holy Prophet in the Musnad of Abu Ya`la. The utterance of words relating to the unity and greatness of Allah in the ears of a new-born baby shows that the Holy Prophet was aware of the existence of the sub-conscious mind.


25 Abu Musa said,

A son was born to me and I brought him to the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be on him, He named him Ibrahim, and he chewed a date and rubbed thereby his palate, and prayed for blessings for him and gave him back to me.19 (B. 71 : 1.)

19 The Arabic word is hannaka-hu. The word tahnik is derived from hanak which means the interior of the upper part of the inside of the mouth, or the palate. The new-born baby is made to taste either a chewed date as in this case, or honey, by some elderly member of the family. The naming of the baby, the tahnik and a prayer for him are thus the sunnah of the Holy Prophet.


26 Salman ibn `Amir said,
I heard the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be on him, say:

"In the case of the boy is `aqiqah, so pour blood for him and remove from him the uncleanness."20 (B. 71 : 2.)

20 The word `aqiqah is derived from `aqqa meaning he clave, split or cut; and `aqqa an waladi-hi signifies he slaughtered as a sacrifice for his child a sheep or a goat (on the seventh day after the birth). This is called `aqiqah, but the word is also applied to the hair of a young one recently born, that comes forth on his head in his mother's belly, the hair being shaved on the seventh day. It is in reference to this that the Hadith speaks of removing of uncleanness.


27 Umm Kurz said,
I heard the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be on him, say:

"In the case of a boy, two goats, and in the case of a girl, one goat (should be sacrificed).21 (Tr-Msh. 19 : 3.)

21 This is the general practice, but as the next hadith shows, one goat suffices in the case of the boy as well. It is only for those who can afford.


28 Ibn `Abbas said,
The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be on him, sacrificed a ram each in the case of Hasan and Husain. (AD-Msh. 19 : 3.)

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Hadith Section > A Manual of Hadith > Chapter 20: Marriage (Hadith -- The Traditions)

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