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Articles
Section
> The Generation Gap [Part 5 of 5] by
Naseer Ahmad Faruqui Sahib
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The
Generation Gap -- Part 5 of 5:
by Naseer
Ahmad Faruqui Sahib
The Light (September 1, 1976)
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I suppose my readers must by
now be tired of reading about this subject in my
previous four
articles on this topic.
But this, I hope, will be my last write-up on the subject.
And for a change, there will not be much discussion in this
article, but more of an account of a visit to an Old
People’s Home in Paris by a Pakistani writer named Mr.
Ataul Haq Qasmi.
Before I begin the narrative, let me
refer to one of the vital points I had made in my
previous
articles. According to the
Holy Qur’an, old parents should not be cast into an
institution (such as an Old People’s Home, as in Europe
and America) but should be kept by their children with
themselves. What the parents in their old age need most is
personal care, affection and nearness to their children who
were, and still are, dearest to them. Living like derelicts
in an institution, denies them all that and, in course of
time, drives them to melancholia, mental disorders and even
suicide. This is confirmed by the following account of Mr.
Ataul Haq Qasmi’s visit to an Old People’s Home in
Paris. It appeared in the daily Nawai Waqt of Lahore
recently. Mr. Qasmi visited this institution with a lady
named Zola. When they entered the room where the old people
were passing an evening, this is what he
witnessed:
Zola’s eyes were
searching for her mother. Eventually they were fixed on
an old woman who was reclining in a rocking chair at the
end of the hall. Zola went behind the chair and put her
hands on her mother’s shoulders. The old lady opened
her eyes and, on seeing Zola, sat up at once. She kissed
Zola again and again on her cheeks. She was taking stock
of her dress with intent eyes. It seemed as if the old
lady was lost in admiration and love. After they had
talked for ten or fifteen minutes it appeared from
Zola’s face as if a great load had got off her mind
and she was feeling lighter and happier.
Zola told me later that her mother
was insisting on going home. But on Zola’s
persuasion, and because I was in Paris, she had very
reluctantly agreed to stay a few days more in this
institution.
Zola said to me: "I told her
falsely that I will take her out of this institution next
week. Mother said that she would not come in the way of
my engagements; on the other hand, she would cook for me
and do all the shopping for the
cooking."
"What else did she say?" I asked
with a sad heart.
"She was complaining about my elder
brother that he had not visited her for two years. Nor
has she been able to see her grandchildren for a long
time. Mother is very fond of them," said
Zola.
An old inmate of the institution
addressed Mr. Qasmi: "Do you people also have such homes
for the old persons?"
Mr. Qasmi answered: "No, we do not
have them. They live in our midst till they die. And we
feel pleasure in serving them. Some of us don’t do
it, but our society does not look upon them with
approval."
"Then you people are certainly more
civilised than we are," said the old man with a catch in
his voice. "If we are spending the remaining days of our
lives away from our children, nobody but ourselves is to
blame. Our own parents also used to long to see
us."
"That means your children do not
come to see you?" asked Mr. Qasmi.
"In the beginning when they enter
us in such a place, they come during the weekend. As time
passes, the gap between their visits lengthens and they
do not visit us more than once a month. Gradually even
the monthly visit is replaced by an annual visit at
Christmas. Later, even at Christmas a greeting card comes
instead of our children. And then one day, on getting
intimation from this institution, they come to receive
the dead body of the parent. The corpse’s eyes
remain open to catch the last glimpse of its
children."
"I felt as if somebody had wrung my
heart", says Mr. Qasmi "and I did not want this topic to
continue. But the old man went on ...."
"We have here the necessary
comforts and facilities. But we long to see the faces of
our children. Previously the administration allowed us to
keep pets here. So the inmates kept cats or dogs and gave
them the love and affection which they wanted to give
their children. But now the administration has banned
pets. So now several mothers take to bed with them dolls
to whom they talk, sing lullabies and put to sleep. We
may appear to you to be laughing and playing indoor
games. But our hearts are empty, our laughter is hollow
and our breasts suppress cries of heartache. When a
visitor comes, our faces light up for a while. When he
leaves, we sink back into the depths of sadness and
loneliness …."
Mr. Qasmi continues: "Although the
old man was speaking in English and most of the others
present could not follow him, the pain and sadness in his
voice made the faces of those sitting round our large
table a picture of sadness and loneliness. The atmosphere
was that of a graveyard and, in the silence that
followed, one could almost hear dead spirits pass-by. I
felt as if the pre-occupied children of these men and
women had already clothed them in shrouds and entrusted
them to the undertakers for burial."
I caught hold of Zola’s arm
and came out. Her mother came to see her off till the
outermost gate. Her face was a picture of helplessness
and humility. She was reminding Zola again and again not
to forget to take her out of that place to her flat next
week. She would be content to live in the storeroom. She
would not come in the way of Zola’s engagements. She
would fetch the bazaar and cook for her. She was
following us like a beggar. Zola looked back at her
mother with disdain and caught hold of my arm to take me
out.
That ends one glimpse of the life in
an Old People’s Home near Paris. I have read in the
world-famous Readers Digest, whose circulation
probably now exceeds twenty million copies, interviews with
the inmates of the Old People’s Homes in USA. The
inmates had a sad tale to tell of how their children
deposited them in these Homes on false pretexts and promises
and then gradually forgot all about them. These old parents
even then forgave their children, but begged that they
should at least write to them occasionally.
Let this be a lesson to our youth who
have been blinded by the spell cast over them by the Western
civilisation into following it slavishly. Today’s
children will become tomorrow’s parents. What will be
their fate then? Let them remember the Holy
Qur’an’s direction that old parents should be kept
with themselves, whatever that may involve, in the same way
as the parents kept them next to their hearts, whatever the
suffering and sacrifices involved, and did not consign them
to an orphanage as the children are apt to discard them into
an Old People’s Home.
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Also
Read Parts:
|| 1
|| 2
|| 3
|| 4
|| 5
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Articles
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> The Generation Gap [Part 5 of 5] by Naseer
Ahmad Faruqui Sahib
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